Baby going through tunnel
probably thought his entire existence ended
nerdy moment: babies at that age don’t have object permanence. if the object cannot be seen, it does not exist. image how freaked the fuck out you would be if suddenly everything went black - effectively ceasing to exist. the baby’s entire world vanished then came back.
so yeah. he probably did think his entire existence ended.
It’s not nerdy. It’s called child development.
Is anyone else completely terrified by the concept that you could, someday, meet someone who actually genuinely wants to spend the rest of their life in love with you?
"can men and women really be just friends??" straight people are so weird
It is a fact that bisexuals can’t make friends. There is only prey.
*makes raptor noises*
Cards Against Humanity.
I’m a big fan. Well, I bought this.
It’s great. It hold all of my shit. But it holds something else too.
If you have it, open your box.
You see how I started to tear away at the top of the box there?
Do it carefully.
There’s something in there. What could that be?
There’s a card.
There is a card literally hidden in the top of the box.
But what card?
I fucking love these people.
My friend once told me
she liked this guy because of his hands
And I found it absurd that anyone
would develop feelings over one feature,
and not care about the rest
It wasn’t until you used your hands
to cup the back of my neck the first time we kissed
and I could feel your firm grasp pull me closer,
and my insides exploded
and my head buzzed with bliss.
And the first night you slept over,
you fell asleep with your hand
laid over my stomach
and your fingers felt like a fire
that I didn’t mind burning my skin.
The first time we got drunk,
was the first time you played with my hair,
and my god I was hooked,
I’d drink forever if it meant you’d never stop.
And in public you’d hold my hand,
and rub your thumb in little circles
that left me wanting you more,
no matter what you would never let me go,
I was glued to you,
and I honestly didn’t mind
When we talked about breaking up,
you saw my lips quiver with fear,
and you brushed over my lips with your fingers
before pulling me into your lap
and you kissed me like never before.
With your hands on my hips
pulling me so close to you,
leaving no space in between us.
It was then I realized I never wanted you to go
Its now that,
I finally understand why hands
were the only feature that mattered
NEWSIES APPRECIATION WEEK // favorite lines (part one)
What are some cool sex positions
standing at the ATM handin me all ur money
Breakfast around the world
Have you ever thought to yourself “fuck i love that magic song about wanting to marry a girl but her father disapproves, but it’d be so much better covered by a girl without changing the pronouns” because IF SO I have the cover for you.
omg this is 1 million x better the original is way too much 2 dudes arguing over possession of a lady its so much patriarchial bullshit a woman singing it brings a whole new level of realness of the pain of inlaws witholding their approval / blessing
they say the best things in life are free
is food free
is internet free
THERE’S FREE WIFI AT MCDONALD’S AND YOU COULD SCAVENGE FOR FRIES LIKE A PIGEON
This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.
CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
- do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
- go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
- if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
- look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
- the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
- works every time
"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING